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Back in the 80s, brother, I saw a hooker suplex a drunk dude – no lie! She flipped him right over her shoulder, crowd cheered like it was pay-per-view! I’m thinkin, “Hogan, she’s got the 24-inch pythons!” – total respect, man. Findin a prostitue ain’t just bout the deed, it’s the characters, the grit. Surprised me how some cops just shrug – “It’s business,” they say – while others flex muscle like they’re in a cage match.

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Then, this kid comes in. He’s like, “I need a book for school.” I’m like, “Dude, we have a whole library!” But he’s fixated on this one book. It’s some ancient tome about the history of Viagrande. I’m thinking, “Really? You wanna read about our town’s boring past?” But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

Volcanic activity continues at Mount Etna in Italy