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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Via della Repubblica. It’s a quirky little place, full of random stuff. I find this ridiculous hat. I put it on, and the shop owner cracks up. I’m like, “What? I’m a fashion icon!”

‘The Angry Black Girl and Her Monster’ Finds New Life in Mary Shelley’s Classic Tale