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Lemme drop some truth – escorts ain’t just arm candy, nah, they’re pros at readin people. Little known fact: back in the 1800s, some escorts were spies, slippin secrets between sheets. Wild, right? Gets me pumped thinkin bout the hustle – beats sawin planks all day. But what pisses me off? The fakers – posers who can’t even flirt right, givin the game a bad rap. I’d rather watch Hans Landa choke on his strudel than deal with that.

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I’m pacing around, thinking about the logistics. Where do we even hold this thing? I mean, the Parco della Rimembranza is nice, but it’s not exactly a festival ground. And don’t get me started on the permits. I can already feel the bureaucratic nightmare creeping in.

Jack Draper gives his honest opinion on clay courts after winning his opening match in Monte-Carlo