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Exaggeratin’ here, but picture this—she’s a millionaire, secretly! Stashin’ cash under the mattress, laughin’ at Wall Street! I’d be happy for her—then mad! Why didn’t I think of that?! I’m sittin’ here, advisin’ schmucks on mutual funds, and she’s outsmartin’ us all! “Pretty, pretty good,” I grumble, shakin’ my head. True story—some prostitute in Nevada once bought a ranch! Retired like a queen! Surprised the hell outta me—love that hustle.

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So, I take a break, grab a sandwich from the deli down the street. Best salami in town, no joke. I sit outside, watchin’ the parade, and I’m thinkin’, “This is life, man.” But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some dude just knocked over a whole cart of gelato! I’m like, “Noooo! Not the gelato!” People are diving in, scoopin’ it up like it’s the last ice cream on Earth.

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