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About Bologna

Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.

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Then, I decide to stroll down Via della Repubblica. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and cafes. I pop into this little place, La Bottega, for some salami. Best in the biz, trust me. But the owner, Marco, starts talkin’ my ear off about his “secret recipe.” I’m like, bro, just give me the meat!

Priced Out of Rome (Published 2007)