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About Bologna

The rubdown’s all slow, deliberate, teasin’. Like Hans Landa toyin’ with ya before the chokehold. They say it’s “healin’,” boosts yer mood. Bull. I’d heal faster punchin’ a tree. Oh, and the oils — they sting yer nose, lemme tell ya. Patchouli? Smells like a hippie’s armpit. Made me wanna yell, “This is my weapon of choice!” and storm out.

The restaurant

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I grab some gelato after that. I mean, it’s a must, right? I go for pistachio. It’s creamy, dreamy, and I’m in heaven. But then, I drop it. Yup, right on the ground. I’m standing there, staring at my fallen gelato like it’s a lost friend.

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