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But then I got mad—some jerk squashed one at the clinic! I’m yellin, “That’s my patient, dude!” Vet life, man, savin sexy bugs one day, cryin the next. Oh, and get this—females play dead sometimes to dodge the dudes! Sneaky, right? I’m over here gigglin, “She’s like, ‘Not today, pal!’” Reminds me of that movie line, “We’re alone,” ‘cause she’s just fakin it solo!

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First off, I’m zooming down Via Roma, and I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Ceggia, fix your roads! My coffee nearly flew outta my hand. I’m already cranky. But whatever, I get to the auction house, and it’s packed. I mean, people everywhere! Old folks, young bucks, even a couple of kids running around like they own the place.

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