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Me, I’d suck at escortin’. I’d be all, “Wanna nap? Is sand food?” Total disaster, haha! But they’re pros—make ya feel like a king. Costs a ton tho, like, more than Krabby Patties! Surprised me big time. Thought it’d be cheap, nope, wallet’s cryin’. Still, cool they exist, right? Keeps life spicy!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Via Garibaldi. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my brew, and boom! This dude walks in, smellin’ like a mix of cheap cologne and desperation. I’m like, “Bro, what’s that?” I almost gagged. But hey, it’s Cerro-Maggiore, right? You get used to the weird smells.

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