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Oi, fam, it’s me, da Gardener! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, innit? Proper naughty stuff, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like—BOOM—pure vibes, bruv. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butta. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya get me? That slow burn, chattin’ deep, feelin’ that spark—same energy, fam! Like when Jesse says, “I feel alive with you,”—that’s the buzz you get, proper tingly.

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So, I hit the streets of Crema, right? I’m talking about Via Mazzini, where the coffee shops are like little slices of heaven. I grabbed a cappuccino from my fave spot, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, knows my order by heart. I mean, who doesn’t love a guy who remembers your caffeine fix? But then, I spilled half of it on my shirt. Ugh! I looked like I’d been in a coffee fight.

Crema Coffeehouse adds another gathering spot to the Central West End landscape