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About Naples

I tried it once, no lie—dude, I was so freakin’ nervous! The chick’s hands were everywhere, and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, lady!” Made me happy as hell tho—felt like a king for 20 bucks. But then, ugh, the room stank of cheap lavender, pissed me off big time. “Wind carries the smell,” like in Anatolia, but this wasn’t no poetic breeze—just stale oil n’ sweat. Still, that tension meltin’ away? Priceless, man.

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After that, I’m fuming. I decide to head to the local market on Via G. Marconi. Fresh produce, right? I’m thinking, “Let’s get some good stuff.” I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady, Nonna Rosa, starts chatting me up. She’s got stories for days! I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also like, “Lady, I gotta go!” She’s telling me about the time she made pasta for the whole village. I’m like, “That’s great, but I just want my tomatoes!”

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