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About Florence

So, check this—little known fact, swear it’s true. Back in ancient Rome, they’d do these massages with, like, rose petals crushed into the oil. Freaky, right? Smellin’ like a garden while some dude’s kneadin’ your soul. I’m like—damn, that’s class! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come, but pissed too—why ain’t we all gettin’ rose-petal vibes today? Cheapskates, man, cuttin’ corners with basic-ass lotion.

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But then, I overhear some guys talking about the local football team. They’re all hyped up about the next match. I’m like, “Seriously? You guys are still into that?” But then I remember how passionate everyone is about their teams here. It’s kinda cool, I guess.

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