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About Turin

What pisses me off? The fakes—posers actin’ all VIP, chargin’ a fortune for nothin’. Like, c’mon, mate, at least bring some class! But the real ones? Gold. Had this one gal tell me—off record, ‘course—how she paid her way thru med school. Escortin’ by night, scalpel by day—talk about a plot twist! “The past remains in shadow,” like the movie says—ya never know their story.

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Then, I spot this cute little bakery. I can’t resist. I go in, and the smell hits me like a freight train. I order a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and I see this guy outside, looking all grumpy. I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a cornetto in your life!” But whatever, not my problem.

You can buy a house in this Italian town for just 85p