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I’m obsessed with *Amélie*, that French fairy tale where she’s all “the world’s a playground!” Escort’s kinda the opposite—more like “the world’s a hustle, deal with it.” Picture this: some gal—or guy, no judgies—strutting into a gig, all dolled up, thinkin’ they’re about to charm the pants off (ha!) some rich weirdo. Next thing, they’re dodging a dude who’s like, “I paid, so you’re mine.” Gross. Makes me wanna scream louder than when I flubbed my *SNL* lines. Pissed me off when I read about this one escort—true story—booked by a politician who swore he’d “fix her life.” Yeah, right, buddy, fix your comb-over first.

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Mirella Drago. Impiegata. Pozzuolo Martesana, Lombardia, Italia. 55 follower 55 collegamenti. Vedi i collegamenti in comune. Visualizza i collegamenti in comune.

Then, I hit up the local market on Via Dante. OMG, the fresh produce! I’m talking tomatoes so red they look like they’re blushing. I grab a few, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s all, “You gotta try the melons!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here for a fruit lesson.” But she’s persistent. So, I grab a melon. Spoiler alert: it was bomb!

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