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Funny thing—my fave part? When Linda whispered, “Relax, hon,” all soft, and I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, I’m TRYIN’!” Total sarcasm in my head, but it worked. Oh, and the oil smelled like freaky lavender—overpowered my senses, like Russia invadin’ my nose! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt that epic. So, yeah, sexual-massage—get one, feel alive, thank me later. Tina out!

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A five star reviewed premier couples resort, the Black River Retreat allows you the opportunity to relax with the one you love while enjoying a woodland.

So, I’m running around, trying to make everything look perfect. I’m sweating bullets, and my mind’s racing. I’m thinking about all the paperwork I didn’t finish. And then, just as I’m about to lose it, my colleague, Lisa, walks in with a coffee. Bless her soul! She’s like, “You good?” I’m like, “No, I’m not good! We’re about to be inspected!”

Black River boys basketball tops Saugatuck for first time in two decades