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Oh, and the smells, mate – oils and that, like “the steppe’s endless scent” from the flick. Hits ya right in the feels, don’t it? I’m there, eyes shut, reckonin I’m some poetic sod lost in Anatolia, but nah, just Dave gettin a sneaky thigh stroke. Cracked me up, the contrast – proper daft. Once she flipped me over tho, I nearly shouted, “We’ve found the body!” like in the film, cos – surprise! – things got lively down south, if ya know what I mean.

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I finally get to the market, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m tryin’ to find my guy, and all I can see are stalls selling everything from fresh fish to handmade jewelry. I mean, who needs jewelry when you can have a killer fur coat, right? But whatever, people have their tastes.

Savannah Bananas at Durham Bulls Athletic Park