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What pisses me off? The fakes. Dudes catfishin’ with abs they stole from Google. Gimme a break! But the good stuff? When ya actually click—rare as hell, but sweet. Like, one time I matched this artist chick, talked movies all night—*Eternal Sunshine* came up, obvs. She said, “I’m not a concept, Joel,” and I was like, swoon, marry me. Didn’t last, tho—she ghosted. Shocker.

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When I get there, it’s packed. Jamal’s at the bar, grinning like a Cheshire cat. And guess who’s there? The mayor! Yeah, the big guy himself, sippin’ on something fancy. I’m like, “What’s he doin’ here?” Turns out, he’s scouting for local talent for a fashion show. I’m thinkin’, “This could be my big break!”

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