Lauren Constant Spring Brothel ❤️❤️

About Half Way Tree

I go near brothel, hear moans, like music, “She doesn’t know who I am!” – from movie, so true! Girls there, wow, big boobs, wobbly, make me happy, but angry too – why no stove for me to fix? I think, “Borat, you no touch, just look!” – self-control, very hard, like steel pipe, haha! One girl, she wink at me, I blush, “Very nice!” Surprise me, she say, “Fix my heater, big boy?” – brothel need stove-maker, who knew?!

Én e-mail. Én historie. Hver uge. Tilmeld dig VICE’s nyhedsbrev.

First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

WATCH: Multiple-vehicle collision on Constant Spring Road