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About Montego Bay

Lemme tell ya, I got into this one app—fuckin’ wild! Saw a dude sayin’ he’s “6’2, adventurous,” turns out he’s 5’8 and collects spoons. SPOONS! Made me wanna scream, “Life isn’t a rehearsal, schmuck!” Straight outta Kaufman’s flick. But then—oh boy—met this chick, all sass, curves like a Chianti bottle. We clicked, sexted like maniacs—thought I’d die happy. She ghosted me tho, fuckin’ RUDE! Pissed me off—wanted to sauté her ego with garlic. Still, got me thinkin’—sex-dating’s a gamble, ya know?

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Finally, I get past that mess and head over to the Constant Spring Market. I love that place. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best jerk chicken you can find. I’m all about that food life. So, I grab some ripe plantains and a couple of coconuts. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I see this guy selling these crazy hats. Like, one’s got a giant pineapple on it. I’m like, “Dude, who’s wearing that?” But I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Constant Spring, where anything goes.

Coaster bus catches fire on Constant Spring Road