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What’s it like? Slippery, steamy, a lil’ awkward at first—kinda like when Monty’s tryna dodge his guilt. You’re tense, then bam, you’re floatin’! Hands hit spots you didn’t know existed—shoulders, thighs, places that scream, “I’ve been ignored too long!” I heard this story—some gal in Brooklyn, she’s a masseuse, swears her client levitated once. Levitated! I’m like, “Bullshit!” but she stuck to it—said it’s the “release” that does it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ of Monty hoverin’ over the table, goin’, “I fucked up everything!”

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a dollar for every crazy thing that happened in Constant Spring today, I’d be rich. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Early closure for Constant Spring Tax Office