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I’m strollin’ thru this forest brothel in my head, and it’s chaos—girls laughin’, dudes stumblin’, air thick with cheap perfume and cheaper whiskey. Reminds me of “Spring Breakers,” when Alien goes, “Look at my shit!”—all that bravado, showin’ off. That’s the energy here, everybody flexin’, tryna feel alive. I love it, y’all! Makes me wanna holler, “You get a fantasy! You get a fantasy!” ‘Cause that’s what it’s sellin’—dreams, quick and dirty.

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

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