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Me, I’d lie there, tense as fuck. Then—boom—relief hits hard. “You’re not a man yet,” Audiard’s line stabs. Erotic-massage proves it—vulnerable, raw. Pisses me off when they rush it. Slow down, damn it! Happy? When it’s done right—fuck yeah. Surprised me first time—didn’t expect the toe-curling bit.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Market St., grabbin’ my usual coffee from that little spot, you know, the one with the crazy barista who thinks he’s a stand-up comic? Yeah, that guy. He’s like, “What’s up, my caffeine addict?” I’m like, “Just tryin’ to survive, bro.” He laughs, spills some coffee, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m part of the show.”

All the Falmouth town and Cornwall councillors elected: full results