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Well, hello there, my tasty friend! Ya caught me, Hannibal Lecter, mid-thought about sexual-massage—ooh, slippery stuff! I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s, ya know, *extra*? Watched “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” again last night—damn, that flick’s grim. “What can I do? It’s too late!”—that line hits hard. Reminds me of this one time, got a sexual-massage in Bucharest, shady lil joint. Masseuse had hands like a butcher—kinda hot, kinda terrifying. Felt like she coulda filleted me, served me up with fava beans!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Market St., grabbin’ my usual coffee from that little spot, you know, the one with the crazy barista who thinks he’s a stand-up comic? Yeah, that guy. He’s like, “What’s up, my caffeine addict?” I’m like, “Just tryin’ to survive, bro.” He laughs, spills some coffee, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m part of the show.”

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