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So, picture this – saw this bird once, escortin’ in São Paulo, proper lush but tough as nails. She’d charm ya, then nick ya wallet – “Peace has cost you your strength!” – straight up gangster shit. Laughed me arse off when I heard, cos who expects that? Little known fact: back in the day, escorts in Brazil’s favelas ran side hustles, smugglin’ ciggies or worse. Kept it hush-hush, like Lil’ Zé hidin’ his mad moves.

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Then, I get a call about a fire on Elm St. I rush over, and it’s chaos. Fire trucks everywhere, people yelling. I’m trying to do my job, but it’s hard to focus with all the sirens blaring. Turns out, it was a small fire in a garage. But the drama? Oh man, it was like a soap opera. Neighbors were pointing fingers, and I’m just standing there, trying to take notes.

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