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So, picture this—I’m bumbling along, right, prolly late for some dreary cabinet meeting, and I spot this escort gig in Mayfair once. Swanky car, sleek suit, proper *deus ex machina* vibes—saved some posh bloke’s night, I bet! Made me chukle—here I am, Boris, scruffy hair, tie askew, and they’re out there, smooth as Nemo’s dad, Marlin, fretting over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!”—that’s Marlin, not me, tho I’d say it about my bike if it got nicked.

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After that, I head over to Oak St. to check out a suspicious claim. This dude says he slipped on a banana peel. A banana peel! I’m not even kidding. I’m thinking, “Is this a cartoon or real life?” I get there, and the guy’s sitting on his porch, looking all smug. I ask him about it, and he’s like, “Yeah, it was a slippery one.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who even has banana peels lying around?

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