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Finding a prostitute ain’t easy, tho—shocker! Like, did u know some use burner phones only? Sneaky, right? I’m, like, “How do I even text u, babe?” Total mind-blow. I’m imagining me in a movie, all dramatic, hair in the wind, saying, “I just want to be seen,” like Mason’s sis in *Boyhood*. Deep, right? But, lol, I’d probs trip in my Louboutins first—clumsy Kim strikes again!

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I walk down to the bus stop, and there’s that goat again! This time, it’s tied up next to a food stall. The owner’s tryin’ to sell it for real! I can’t help but laugh. “You still tryin’ to sell that goat?” I shout. The guy just shrugs.

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