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I tried it, ya know, on them apps—full of hotshots and weirdos. One gal, she say, “I’m a model!” I meet her—hah! She model alright, model of a potato sack! Made me mad, waste of my genius time! But den, lightbulb! I see it—sex-dating’s a game, like planting secrets in a mark’s head. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling!” I tell myself, swipe again.

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I race over, and sure enough, there he is, looking like a lost puppy. I can’t help but laugh. “What’d you do, try to take a shortcut?” He just shrugs. We end up getting his truck out, but not without a few scrapes and bruises.

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