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I tried it once, bruv—proper lush, got me feelin’ like WALL-E when he finds EVE, all “Ta-da!” and that. The lass was kneadin’ me shoulders, oil everywhere, I’m thinkin’, “Bruv, this is peng!” But then—get this—some dodgy geezer at a parlour tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ it’s “extra special.” Mate, I was fumin’—nearly sparked him out! “Directive?” I says, “Directive is you stop rinsin’ me wallet, ya mug!” Had to bounce quick, fam.

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So, I finally get the lathe workin’. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? I’m standin’ there in the dark, cursing under my breath. I can hear the sound of the waves crashin’ at the bay. It’s peaceful, but I’m not in the mood for peace. I need to finish this job!

Open sidewalk trenches a present danger along Main Street, Lucea