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About Linstead

Little fact for ya—Japan’s got this thing, “nuru massage,” slimy seaweed gel, fuckin’ wild! Slippin’ and slidin’ like penguins, hilarious but hot, man. Say hello to my little friend! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a trip—gets you all worked up, then bam, chills you out. I’m obsessed, bro, can’t lie. Sometimes I’m dreamin’ bout it, hearin’ Almodóvar whisperin’, “She’s alive in my hands.” Fuckin’ poetic, right? You gotta try it, don’t be a pussy—life’s too short!

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After a while, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I get back to work, and I’m finally makin’ progress. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident right on the corner of West and East Street. Two cars, both lookin’ like they just went ten rounds with a heavyweight. People are gatherin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is not what I need right now.”

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