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About Linstead

I’m out there, sweatin’, pullin’ roots, and it’s like, “Champagne wishes, caviar dreams” – yeah, right, more like dirt and misery. Makes me happy tho, when I get one out whole, roots and all – fuck you, whore! But then, bam, ten more pop up. Drives me nuts, like dealin’ with Junior’s bullshit all over again. Ever hear ‘bout how horseweed’s got this trick? Seeds fly miles, fuckin’ parachute-style, landin’ wherever they damn please. Sneaky, I tell ya. I’m yellin’, “Gabagool! Get outta my dirt!” but nah, they don’t listen.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jamal shows up. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a goat on the road by the Lucea Bay. A goat! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my wrench. Like, who lets their goat roam free? Only in Lucea, man.

Former Lucea mayor faces first-timer for representational rights in Chester Castle