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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”
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Then, outta nowhere, it started rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m talkin’ about the kind that soaks you in seconds. I sprinted to the nearest shop on High Street. I ducked in, soaked but laughin’. The shopkeeper just shook his head, like, “You really thought you could escape it?” I was like, “Yeah, I’m a warrior, not a fish!”
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