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About Montego Bay

Little known fact, right—did ya know sex-dating apps track your horny arse? Yeah, they log every swipe, every dodgy DM—sellin’ it to some creepy data nerds. Pissed me off when I found out, cos I’m over here tryna get laid, not star in Big Brother. And get this—back in 2015, Ashley Madison got hacked, millions of blokes caught with their pants down, wives ragin’. Fuckin’ hilarious, but also—damn, that’s cold. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see the grime others miss.

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First off, I hit up the market on Main Street. You know how it is, vendors shoutin’ their deals like it’s a competition. “Fresh fruits! Best prices!” I’m like, “Chill, I just want some mangoes.” But nah, they all up in my face. I grabbed a few ripe ones, but then this dude tried to shortchange me. I was like, “Bruh, you think I’m blind?” Got me heated, but I just laughed it off.

UPDATED: $1.4 million donation to May Pen Hospital expected to enhance healthcare