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Oh, and don’t get me started on the creeps – had a pal tell me bout this escort gig gone wrong, dude wouldn’t pay, actin’ all high and mighty. She was like, “Sir, I must insist!” – movie vibes again, heh! Kicked his ass out, good for her! Screw that noise. So yeah, escort’s a trip – glamorous, gritty, all that jazz. Don’t pee on my leg and say it’s boring, ‘cause it ain’t! Now scram, I’m done spillin’ tea – go watch “Grand Budapest” and thank me later!

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So I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to catch my breath, when I see this old lady on the bench. She’s got this huge smile, like she just won the lottery. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her secret?” Turns out, she was just happy to see the sun. I mean, who wouldn’t be? But it made me feel all warm inside.

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