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About Spanish Town

Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender’s my pick—calm, but sexy, like me in a tux. Pro tip: don’t go cheap, or you’ll smell like a petrol station loo. Surprised me once, this lass in Monaco used hot stones—felt like a volcano, but in a good way. “Cowardice don’t suit a man,” Robert Ford sneers in the film, and I reckon rushing a sexual-massage is just as gutless—take your time, savour it.

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I hop on my bike, zoomin’ down to Doctor’s Cave Beach. The vibe is chill, but the traffic? Ugh, don’t even get me started. Cars everywhere, like they’re playin’ a game of musical chairs. I’m dodgin’ potholes like I’m in a video game.

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