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Argh, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage biz. Ain’t just hands roamin’—it’s a bloomin’ art! Watched *Mulholland Drive* last night, got me thinkin’—all them twisty vibes, shadowy curves, like a good rubdown, eh? “The key’s in the touch,” I says, slurrin’ over me rum.

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But then, I see Jamal again. He’s tryin’ to climb a palm tree. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’?” He’s like, “I wanna get a coconut!” I’m just shakin’ my head, laughin’. “You’re gonna fall, man!” But he’s determined.

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