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So, sex escorts – whew, where to start? Met this gal once – swear it’s true – she said, “Joe, I made 500 bucks in an hour!” Blew my mind! Happiest I been since sniffin’ Amtrak seats. But then – get this – she says, “Half goes to the pimp.” Half! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Folks, that’s highway robbery! “You’re tearing me apart!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause it’s unfair, plain and simple.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. I swear, she’s like a hurricane. Her name’s Karen (of course, right?). She’s fuming ‘bout her drink. “I ordered a piña colada, not a coconut water!” I’m like, “Chill, lady! It’s the same thing, just with a twist!” But she’s not havin’ it. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why you gotta be so extra?”

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