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About Linstead

Avast, mateys! ‘Ere’s me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, yer rum-soaked stockbroker fer today, savvy? Now, lemme spin ye a yarn ‘bout this “whore” – an’ nay, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout no lass o’ the night, but W.H.O.R.E., that sneaky ticker on the market, aye! ‘Tis me own invention, see – World Holdings of Ruinous Enterprises, a stock I conjured whilst dodgin’ the East India Trading Company’s tax hounds. A beauty, she be, tradin’ under the radar, makin’ me purse jingle like the coins o’ Tortuga!

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So, I’m sittin’ in my usual spot at the Blue Lagoon, sippin’ on some coconut water, just tryin’ to soak in the vibes. The sun was shinin’, the water was lookin’ all turquoise and inviting. I was feelin’ good, like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes.

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