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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

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Later, I decide to check out the local market on the other side of the bay. It’s packed with colors and smells. I’m talkin’ fresh fruits, spices, and all that good stuff. I grab some mangoes, and let me tell ya, they’re the juiciest things ever. I’m munchin’ away when I overhear this guy arguing with a vendor about prices. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a market. Haggling is part of the game!” But he’s just standin’ there, lookin’ confused. I can’t help but chuckle.

Rugby league referee Shawn McQuillan collapses and dies during junior match