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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, straight outta the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy—don’t ask how that happened, long story, vodka was involved. We’re talkin’ sex escort today, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Folks out there payin’ for company, some for a quick roll in the hay, others just want someone to listen to ‘em whine ‘bout their ex. I seen it all, and it’s messier than a pig pen after a storm.

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a sauna. I decide to hit the beach. I mean, who wouldn’t? The water’s crystal clear, and I’m feelin’ good. I plop down on the sand, and this little kid runs by, kickin’ a soccer ball. He trips, and the ball goes straight into my drink. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?” But then he gives me this big ol’ smile, and I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re the best.

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