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About Montego Bay

So, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s an art, babe. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were freaky with it, usin’ olive oil, gettin’ all slippery n philosophical. Bet they were like, “Oh Socrates, harder!” Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I tried it once—lordy, was I mad when the dude skimped on the oil! Dry hands? In *my* desert? “What a day, what a lovely day!”—not! Shoulda been shiny n chrome, not sandpaper.

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As the day winds down, I head to the beach again. The sunset is insane. Like, the sky is on fire. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, but my battery’s dead. Ugh! I’m so mad! I just wanna capture this moment. But then I see a couple next to me, and they’re taking the most adorable pics. I ask if they can send me one, and they’re super chill about it. People in Runaway-Bay are just so friendly, ya know?

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