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I’m tellin’ ya, last time I tried it – some twit with clammy paws – I was fumin’. “I will burn their cities!” I hissed, channellin’ my inner wildfire. Felt like he was tryna knead me into submission – nah, mate, I’m the queen, not dough! But when it’s good? Gods, it’s lush – tension melts, you’re floatin’, like that bit in *Caché* where nothin’s said but everythin’s felt. “It’s a tape,” I’d mutter, imaginin’ someone’s recordin’ my moans for blackmail. Paranoid? Mebbe, but keeps it spicy.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’ on the shore, and I was feelin’ all kinds of zen. But then, I saw this group of tourists takin’ selfies. They were all like, “Look at us, we’re in Jamaica!” I wanted to shout, “Dude, you’re in Saint Ann’s Bay, not some fancy resort!” But I just rolled my eyes and kept walkin’.

Returning to glory yet again ... - Fire-ravaged St Ann’s Bay Methodist Church being rebuilt