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But—hold up—it pisses me off too. These escorts, they suck water like pigs! Greedy as hell, dryin’ out the ground. Farmers hate ‘em sometimes—say they’re selfish, stealin’ from crops. I’m like, “C’mon, escort, chill out!” Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d be chill, y’know, noble. Nope! Drama queens of the tree world—exaggeratin’ their thirst like No-Face gobblin’ up gold! “More! More!”—hilarious, but damn annoyin’.

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I’m sitting there, in the dark, thinking about life. Like, why do I even do this? But then, I hear laughter outside. I peek out, and it’s a bunch of kids splashing in puddles. They’re having the time of their lives! I can’t help but smile.

Rhythmically trained sea lion returns for an encore—and performs as well as humans