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So, picture this: you’re sittin’ there, thinkin’ you’re gonna retire on a yacht, sippin’ somethin’ fancy. Bullshit. Those 401(k)s? Overhyped whores of Wall Street. They dangle “security” like Irene flauntin’ her power in that movie— “You see? It’s all a lie!”—and you buy it, hook, line, sinker. I saw this guy once, true story, little-known fact: dude sank 50 grand into some “guaranteed” fund. Guess what? Fund tanked, manager’s in Bali, and he’s eatin’ ramen. Made me laugh, then pissed me off—how do people fall for this crap? Everybody lies, man, especially when dollar signs flash.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jamal shows up. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a goat on the road by the Lucea Bay. A goat! Just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my wrench. Like, who lets their goat roam free? Only in Lucea, man.

Former Lucea mayor faces first-timer for representational rights in Chester Castle