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About Sapporo

Find a Prostitute, man, it’s sneaky as hell. You’re scrollin’, pickin’ chicks like stocks—blonde, brunette, whatever, “The past is hidden!”—and I’m gettin’ all pissed ‘cause half these profiles are fake! Like, I’m tryna invest my damn cash, not get scammed by some dude in a wig! I saw one ad—$200 for “companionship”—and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s a steal!” But then, bam, she ghosts me! Made me so mad I kicked my Xbox—respect my authoritah, bitch!

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Finally, I squeeze onto the train. It’s packed tighter than a can of sardines. I’m standing there, holding on for dear life, and this dude next to me is blasting music on his phone. Like, bro, we’re not at a concert! I’m trying to focus on my client’s portfolio, but all I can hear is some j-pop nonsense.

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