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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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After that, I decide to hit up the Fujishiro Museum of Language. It’s a small place, but it’s packed with cool stuff. I’m geeking out over the exhibits. There’s this section on dialects, and I’m just soaking it all in. I mean, who knew Fujishiro had its own unique dialect? I’m scribbling notes like a madman.

Motoko Fujishiro Huthwaite, ‘a force of nature’ who helped preserve WWII artifacts, spent final days in Taylor