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About Saitama

Here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’. It’s this whole secret world, man! Some places, they whisper bout it like it’s illegal—probly is! Got me mad once, tho. This guy charged me 50 bucks extra, and I’m like, “D’oh! For what, a handshake?” Total rip-off! But when it’s good, oh boy, it’s like—“Everything’s gonna be fine,” like Otilia says. Total lie, but feels true in the moment.

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Then, just as I’m about to leave, he drops a flaming baton. It rolls right to my feet! I jump back like a scared cat. Everyone gasps, then bursts out laughing. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” But I can’t help but laugh too.