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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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Finally, I get the crowd settled. I start the bidding, and it’s wild! People are raising their paddles like they’re at a concert. I’m hyped! But then, I see this lady on the side, looking all confused. She’s from outta town, probably just wandered in. I’m like, “Hey, lady, you good?” She’s like, “What’s a ‘bid’?” I almost lost it! I mean, c’mon, we’re in Gose, not a foreign planet!

Taste of the summer. How’s It Gose? Key Lime from Well Crafted Beer Company