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I try this sex-dating, apps, boom, so many womans! Very nice! One time, I match girl, she say, “Let’s meet, quick bang.” I think, wow, fast like tractor on turbo! But then, she ghost me – poof! Gone! Make me angry, why you play Borat like this? In “Shame,” Brandon get laid lots, but he empty inside. Me, I just want kebab and cuddle after, you know?

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to this cute little shop on Oide Street. The owner, Mr. Tanaka, is a legend. He’s got all the latest gear. I’m chatting him up, and he’s telling me about the best slopes. I’m like, “Dude, I need to hit those!” But then, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. They want a last-minute shopping spree. Ugh, why now?

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