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Oh, and get this—Victorian England, whores had this secret code. They’d wear red ribbons in their hair, signalin’ “I’m open for biz.” Subtle, shady, genius! Bet Marta rocked that look, too. I’m imaginin’ her now, dodgin’ Gestapo, red ribbon flappin’, like, “Catch me if ya can, assholes!” Hilarious, but also—damn, that’s ballsy. Makes me wanna high-five her across time.

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Finally, I get in, and it’s like heaven. The steam, the warmth, just melts your worries away. I’m chillin’ there, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You dive? You ever seen a giant octopus?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not sure if I wanna meet one!” But he’s all about his octopus stories. I swear, he was exaggerating like crazy. “It was bigger than my house!” Come on, man!

Hanamaki Toy Museum display to visit 3 locations across Spa City