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About Kobe

Gets me giddy, it does—ain’t just about the naughty bits, tho that’s a perk, innit? It’s the tease, the buildup, like Nolan’s film twistin’ yer brain. You’re floatin’, wonderin’—is this real or am I dreamin’? Reckon I’d take it over a pint some days, tho don’t tell the lads. We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be—defend it with slippery hands and a cheeky grin! What you reckon, fancy a go?

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Finally, I finish up, and the crowd goes wild. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a tree!” But they’re clapping and stuff. I’m not a rockstar, people! Just an arborist tryin’ to make a living.

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