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Little fact for ya – back in the ‘90s, sex-dating was all phone lines, dodgy ads in mags. Bloke I knew, Steve, rang one, ended up datin’ a granny – said she baked killer scones, though! Wild, innit? Nowadays, it’s all digital, fast as fuck – swipe, match, bang, done. “I’m searchin’ for somethin’,” Ida whispers in me head, and I reckon that’s it – some chase tail, some chase soul. Me? I’m just Ozzy, stumblin’ through, “Sharon, where’s me phone?!”

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So, I finally get to my meeting, and it’s a total snooze fest. We’re talking budgets and deadlines, and I’m just zoning out. I mean, who cares about numbers when you can be out exploring the streets of Nagai Park, right? But then, my boss drops a bomb. “We need to cut costs.” Ugh, my heart sank. I’m like, “Dude, we’re already scraping the bottom of the barrel!”

Osaka funeral parlor apologizes for cremating wrong woman